I don't know, only if you're having the nightmares because of me. I mean...it is, but not my kind of curse. Not what I'm doing. Usually it's my will. Sometimes I can't control it.
There's no way of knowing that I do or don't have nightmares because of not because of your cursed speech. And if you're not creating curses in that same way with your talent, then, I think you're worrying too much. I see why you're worrying, and that doesn't fix how you feel.
Then start with me. You might think I'm bias because of my feelings, but I know that I won't let anyone hurt me again like I have been. So tell me, what are you doing?
Because his agreement was resting on the trust he has in Toge, simple as that. He didn't need details, not when Toge needed him.
Through the markings, with my voice, I'm imposing my will on you. It doesn't matter that I'm asleep. I'm not sure exactly what you're feeling. Afraid maybe? It's because I'm afraid. It's because I'm in pain. It's...harder when it's an accident, for me to describe it because cursed energy sits in the air and influences you.
When I attack things, I'm directing it at something. You've seen what I can do with that. How much damage I can cause.
That's me. You're feeling it because of me Shoto, because it's how I feel and I don't know how I can stop it while I'm asleep. I really can't turn it off.
I'm glad to hear that. If I was afraid of you, then it'd be alright. Except I'm not afraid of you. Your cursed technique doesn't frighten me, you don't frighten me, and nightmares I would have had without your help. None of that makes me afraid. None of that upsets me. I know for me there is the added want that I love you and I want to share those feelings of fear or anxiousness. None of what you're doing is hurtful.
If you want, for a while, we can go somewhere else. But. I think what you should do is face it head on. You're stronger than your technique, you're the one that wields it. You learned this far, you'll learn farther.
[There's nothing to help, either. Even the turtle likely wouldn't help him.]
Sometimes, Toge, the best way for something to not win, is to keep facing it. Sometimes we have no choice but to have nightmares about the things that bother us the most in our lives. Abuse. Regret. Fear. Panic. Helplessness.
They'll stop one day, or be less frightening the more you face them. Until then, anyone who is afraid of you isn't worth having in your life anyway.
I do, Toge. I do know and while I can't imagine, or fathom, what you saw or went through for more than what feels like surface level. It's true. And you're not up to anything weird, you can't help it and one day you will be able to help it.
They are, this crew is full of kind people. I promise you're a detriment to no one and that all of us understand.
You aren't. Everyone on this ship understands dealing with a hardship at the maximum of outputs. Some have beaten them, some have not. The ones who haven't are supported by those who have and who are still trying to beat it, only, I don't know who here has actually beaten their demons.
A detriment wouldn't understand that, but you do understand that. I could wear your eyes out with all the reasons why I think that's the truth. But if it becomes too much for you to bare, then we'll move temporarily.
I hurt people when I was younger. I never wanted to it was just- I didn’t have self control. I can’t control this and I hate it because I should be more disciplined than this. I don’t know how to stop my nightmares. I can’t just punch them.
You're not making me do anything, Toge. If we move, we move. If you go, I will follow you.
If anyone can learn how, it will be you, but you can't be expected to not have nightmares. You can't punch them, but you can talk about them. Facing them won't be easy, something like that, as traumatic as it was to give you nightmares, it never is. Being upset at yourself for nightmares and what you can't control in them, it's unrealistic. I promised I wouldn't let anyone look down on you in front of me, and that includes you. You can and will learn, but until then we're all here to support you.
[If only Shoto knew half the issues his clan had thrown at him, he can imagine what it is, but he will just reiterate his support.]
I don’t really want to talk about it any detail really. No one wants to hear about it, it’s that bad. So it’s...I’ll get over it, I’m sure. That’s probably all I can do realistically.
Thank you for your support. I’m not expecting everyone to be supportive so to know that they are is...a lot.
I want to hear it if you do talk about it. Even if you think I don't, you're wrong. I will carry anything you want to give me half of, both physically and mentally. When you're ready, I will be there.
You don't have to thank me, Toge. You would do the same for me, for any single one of us any time we needed. As I said, you've proven who you are to more than just me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
callmekacchan
(no subject)
People fear me. That's what happens.
(no subject)
People are afraid of what they don't understand.
(no subject)
(no subject)
Because his agreement was resting on the trust he has in Toge, simple as that. He didn't need details, not when Toge needed him.
(no subject)
When I attack things, I'm directing it at something. You've seen what I can do with that. How much damage I can cause.
That's me. You're feeling it because of me Shoto, because it's how I feel and I don't know how I can stop it while I'm asleep. I really can't turn it off.
It's okay to be afraid of me.
(no subject)
If you want, for a while, we can go somewhere else. But. I think what you should do is face it head on. You're stronger than your technique, you're the one that wields it. You learned this far, you'll learn farther.
(no subject)
I'd have to stop having nightmares or something. I don't...
I don't think they're going to stop anytime soon. Not with everything that happened.
(no subject)
Sometimes, Toge, the best way for something to not win, is to keep facing it. Sometimes we have no choice but to have nightmares about the things that bother us the most in our lives. Abuse. Regret. Fear. Panic. Helplessness.
They'll stop one day, or be less frightening the more you face them. Until then, anyone who is afraid of you isn't worth having in your life anyway.
(no subject)
All of you guys are really great, I guess.
(no subject)
They are, this crew is full of kind people. I promise you're a detriment to no one and that all of us understand.
(no subject)
(no subject)
A detriment wouldn't understand that, but you do understand that. I could wear your eyes out with all the reasons why I think that's the truth. But if it becomes too much for you to bare, then we'll move temporarily.
(no subject)
I hurt people when I was younger. I never wanted to it was just- I didn’t have self control. I can’t control this and I hate it because I should be more disciplined than this. I don’t know how to stop my nightmares. I can’t just punch them.
(no subject)
If anyone can learn how, it will be you, but you can't be expected to not have nightmares. You can't punch them, but you can talk about them. Facing them won't be easy, something like that, as traumatic as it was to give you nightmares, it never is. Being upset at yourself for nightmares and what you can't control in them, it's unrealistic. I promised I wouldn't let anyone look down on you in front of me, and that includes you. You can and will learn, but until then we're all here to support you.
[If only Shoto knew half the issues his clan had thrown at him, he can imagine what it is, but he will just reiterate his support.]
(no subject)
Thank you for your support. I’m not expecting everyone to be supportive so to know that they are is...a lot.
(no subject)
You don't have to thank me, Toge. You would do the same for me, for any single one of us any time we needed. As I said, you've proven who you are to more than just me.
(no subject)
I’ll let you know if I change my mind. I know you’d carry it with me, but I don’t want you to have to.
🎀?
Please do, Toge. I'm here for you. We're a team, we will always be a team.