Sorry! Sorry, I... I don't like when people hide things from me, but I didn't think about it being about something really personal that you weren't ready to share with--
[He stops rambling as it hits him what exactly Katsuki has said. And he remembers all that Jun said about possession.
He takes in a deep breath, and wraps his arms around himself tight like a hug.]
You're-- Does it-- No, but... I don't want it to take you away...! You can't let it take you away, I only just...!
[I only just found you, we've only just started to be closer friends, this can't be true...!]
[Katsuki looks completely baffled by that reaction. Confusion. Surprise. Curiosity. He's had those kinds of reactions before. But this?
The only person who reacted this poorly to finding out was his father. But that was because the man pieced together that his four year old son had died. And that now his life going forward would never be normal.]
Oy, slow down. What the hell are you babbling about?
[He's practically in tears as well, trying not to look Katsuki in the eye because he knows it will hurt. His heart hurts already. Yoosung's voice is raised in something close to panic.]
It wants to... to take you back to the spirit realm forever, right?! That's how Jun said it works! That's the deal! And that's... That's not fair!
[Katsuki has sat forward, turned to Yoosung, furrow browed and confused.]
I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. Are you sure you didn't misunderstand something he said?
[Take him back to the spirit realm forever?? He tries to think back if he's heard anything like that before... I mean. He's always wondered if there were more things he didn't know. Maybe he needs to talk to Jun again...]
[Katsuki’s gaze flickers to Yoosung's knee against his. Then to the hand gripping his. As he registers that... yeah. This reaction is for him.
He can't think of any friend he's ever had that has gotten this emotional for his sake. Absently, while he's considering this, his fingers curl around Yoosung's hand, holding it back.
It's confusing. But... nice??? Has he really made such an impression on Yoosung already? Or was this much emotion just... normal for him?]
I don't know how I'd even fail my deal. It's not like I can turn it off. It just... takes it? My energy.
[He's still going to talk to Jun again later.]
...glad you aren't possessed. Your emotions would give you a hard time.
[It's a combination of the two... Yoosung's emotions are always this powerful, but Katsuki has certainly made an impression. Yoosung knows without a doubt he has a crush on him now, and his cheeks flare pink the instant Katsuki holds his hand back. Yoosung grips it, not wanting to let go.
He laughs weakly, almost bitterly, and rolls his eyes a little even as he sniffles, still trying to hold back tears.]
My emotions clearly already give me a hard time!
[But then he smiles, shyly, looking a little relieved now that Katsuki's made things just a little clearer? Still... Some confusion and worry remains.]
So... How does it work exactly? What do you mean it takes your energy?
[Katsuki just mistakes that blush for embarrassment from being called on his emotions. He also just lets Yoosung hold his hand because that seems to have calmed down. And honestly he doesn't mind? It's kind of nice?]
Nah. When I get really worked up, sometimes shit starts breaking. You'd never be able to own anything breakable again.
[Teasing. Trying to ease this back towards normal. But also he's serious. That happens.]
I mean it feeds on my energy. So I get worn out twice as fast as I normally would. Because it's feeding on my energy every time I use some. I think I'd have to completely stop doing shit to fail my contract.
Nah. It's not usually that bad. I've had a lot of time to get used to how it affects me. So I know how much to push it. Last month even walking too long wore me out.
[Actually...]
This month it's like the opposite. I feel energized.
Oh... That's. That's strange... I'm glad, though! I'm sure it helped while you were fighting huge gigant-- Um. [What was the name of the ones Katsuki ran into? He forgot what it was exactly.] Big dinosaurs.
[He glances down to their hands, wondering how long he can get away with holding it. Nervously, he's keeping it very still, like as long as he doesn't stroke his fingers against his hand or anything maybe Katsuki will just forget they're even holding hands? Yeah.]
[Unfortunately for Yoosung, Katsuki catches that quick glance and lets go, pulling his hand back. He also realizes, at that question, that he's let himself open up a lot to him... It felt strangely easy to do so?]
You ask a lot of questions. We ended up completely off topic. Don't think I've forgotten what I came over for. You better give some thought to what I said earlier.
[He still doesn't think Yoosung understands what he'd been trying to say earlier.]
I'm not trying to stop you helping. I'm just saying... if something goes really wrong, are you prepared to give your life? Permanently? If the answer is 'yes' then I won't stand in your way. If the answer is 'no' then you're still thinking of this power as a reliable safety net. But it's not.
[Katsuki doesn't want to hurt him. He isn't trying to. That's not why he won't let it go. But he definitely feels like he's pushed Yoosung away. He watches him walk away and slumps back against the couch, head tilted back to look at the ceiling. Maybe he should leave? Before Yoosung can get too far;]
Yesterday I said something really cocky about not going down. But that was for your sake, not because I'm stupid enough to think I'm invincible. I knew what I was risking. And I know what my friends are risking. I just want you to know too.
[Yoosung stops when Katsuki begins talking, and he turns around to look at him again.
He sighs softly, shoulders dropping, and walks back over to the couch to sit next to him... And lean gently against his side. He'll drop his head onto his shoulder if he lets him, right there by his scar.
Clearly, he hasn't pushed him away. He may not be able to if he tried. Yoosung is too clingy.
He admits, softly, hesitantly:]
I know. But if there's a chance you might die out there... Then that just makes me more willing to risk myself, risk everything, to keep that from happening.
[So. Basically he's saying he'd die for him? Make of that what you will, Katsuki.]
[For a brief moment Katsuki tenses at the contact, not expecting it. But as he registers what's happening he relaxes. Yoosung is... super touchy, huh? He finds he doesn't mind having him leaned up on him like that.
He huffs a little at that reply though. He... doesn't like that. And he just wants to make something clear.]
Don't want you to die for me. And I don't want to die for you either. That's my point. You accept it's a possibility. And then you do your best not to die. Do you get it now?
[He feels a little like they're talking in circles. Hasn't he answered this question a few different ways now? He did say he'd try not to die, and that he was gonna learn other things to make it so he's more likely to survive, right?
But... He nods, staring at the blank TV screen across the room.]
[Katsuki is quiet too, sitting there, letting Yoosung lean on him. Even if they're talking in circles he doesn't care. He wants to be sure they're on the same page. And Yoosung will feel the rest of the tension go out of Katsuki's shoulder beneath his head now as he finally feels sure they understand each other.]
I can't help with the magic. Mine is fire, not light. But I'll teach you some fighting moves. I'll help you figure out what style would suit you. Sound good?
[He tilts his head, bumping it against Yoosung's briefly. Gently.]
Yeah... Though, I don't know if I can only do light. I haven't tried anything else... Jun said the light element was coming from my device.
[He's not sure about the fighting with physical means. He doesn't feel like he's built for it, as much as he tries to tank for everyone in his video game. But he won't say no to Katsuki trying to teach him anyway. If nothing else, it does mean being closer to him.
That little head nudge makes his heart skip. He hopes Katsuki doesn't pull away soon, he's absolutely basking in this closeness. He could almost cry just from this. He wants to hold Katsuki's hand again but he's worried that would be too much.
An urge to thank him rises up in him, to thank him for even coming here to try to talk him about all of this, for putting time and effort in to change his mind... But then he remembers Katsuki's reaction the last time he tried to thank him, so... He just keeps it to himself, feeling the gratitude fill him up inside, with no outlet. He feels like he could explode with it, and the intensity just brings the tears he was hoping wouldn't show up. His goddamn eyes and their inevitable betrayal!!]
[Being called a crybaby should probably upset him, but... For some reason it's kind of the opposite when Katsuki calls him that. He knows he's teasing but he doesn't sound upset at him for being this way.]
Yup... No shortage of tears from me.
[He feels a small smile pull at his lips as he gives a little sniffle, tears calming down, then a hum of thought at Katsuki's question.]
Yeah...? I guess so. Do you wanna stay here again tonight? We could do breakfast against tomorrow morning if you want...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninetydegrees
(no subject)
[He stops rambling as it hits him what exactly Katsuki has said. And he remembers all that Jun said about possession.
He takes in a deep breath, and wraps his arms around himself tight like a hug.]
You're-- Does it-- No, but... I don't want it to take you away...! You can't let it take you away, I only just...!
[I only just found you, we've only just started to be closer friends, this can't be true...!]
(no subject)
The only person who reacted this poorly to finding out was his father. But that was because the man pieced together that his four year old son had died. And that now his life going forward would never be normal.]
Oy, slow down. What the hell are you babbling about?
(no subject)
It wants to... to take you back to the spirit realm forever, right?! That's how Jun said it works! That's the deal! And that's... That's not fair!
(no subject)
I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. Are you sure you didn't misunderstand something he said?
[Take him back to the spirit realm forever?? He tries to think back if he's heard anything like that before... I mean. He's always wondered if there were more things he didn't know. Maybe he needs to talk to Jun again...]
(no subject)
No! He said if you failed your deal with the spirit realm being then it would drag you back to the spirit realm forever!
[Actually he just said that as one of the possible outcomes, but it's the one Yoosung's brain had latched onto.
He reaches to grab his hand, feeling like he needs to hold on or else Katsuki might disappear right this second.]
Please... I don't want you to go...
(no subject)
He can't think of any friend he's ever had that has gotten this emotional for his sake. Absently, while he's considering this, his fingers curl around Yoosung's hand, holding it back.
It's confusing. But... nice??? Has he really made such an impression on Yoosung already? Or was this much emotion just... normal for him?]
I don't know how I'd even fail my deal. It's not like I can turn it off. It just... takes it? My energy.
[He's still going to talk to Jun again later.]
...glad you aren't possessed. Your emotions would give you a hard time.
(no subject)
He laughs weakly, almost bitterly, and rolls his eyes a little even as he sniffles, still trying to hold back tears.]
My emotions clearly already give me a hard time!
[But then he smiles, shyly, looking a little relieved now that Katsuki's made things just a little clearer? Still... Some confusion and worry remains.]
So... How does it work exactly? What do you mean it takes your energy?
(no subject)
Nah. When I get really worked up, sometimes shit starts breaking. You'd never be able to own anything breakable again.
[Teasing. Trying to ease this back towards normal. But also he's serious. That happens.]
I mean it feeds on my energy. So I get worn out twice as fast as I normally would. Because it's feeding on my energy every time I use some. I think I'd have to completely stop doing shit to fail my contract.
(no subject)
Yeah... I'd definitely be a danger in a china shop~
[Yoosung nods at what he's telling him though.]
Okay. Is that why you were kinda almost falling asleep at the amusement park?
(no subject)
[Actually...]
This month it's like the opposite. I feel energized.
(no subject)
[He glances down to their hands, wondering how long he can get away with holding it. Nervously, he's keeping it very still, like as long as he doesn't stroke his fingers against his hand or anything maybe Katsuki will just forget they're even holding hands? Yeah.]
H-how long have you been possessed?
(no subject)
You ask a lot of questions. We ended up completely off topic. Don't think I've forgotten what I came over for. You better give some thought to what I said earlier.
(no subject)
I will. I don't want to hurt you or Rhel, so... I'll do my best to avoid dying, okay? But I still wanna help when things get bad...
(no subject)
I'm not trying to stop you helping. I'm just saying... if something goes really wrong, are you prepared to give your life? Permanently? If the answer is 'yes' then I won't stand in your way. If the answer is 'no' then you're still thinking of this power as a reliable safety net. But it's not.
(no subject)
He glances at Katsuki once, drops his hand, then starts to walk away towards the hall.]
(no subject)
Yesterday I said something really cocky about not going down. But that was for your sake, not because I'm stupid enough to think I'm invincible. I knew what I was risking. And I know what my friends are risking. I just want you to know too.
(no subject)
He sighs softly, shoulders dropping, and walks back over to the couch to sit next to him... And lean gently against his side. He'll drop his head onto his shoulder if he lets him, right there by his scar.
Clearly, he hasn't pushed him away. He may not be able to if he tried. Yoosung is too clingy.
He admits, softly, hesitantly:]
I know. But if there's a chance you might die out there... Then that just makes me more willing to risk myself, risk everything, to keep that from happening.
[So. Basically he's saying he'd die for him? Make of that what you will, Katsuki.]
(no subject)
He huffs a little at that reply though. He... doesn't like that. And he just wants to make something clear.]
Don't want you to die for me. And I don't want to die for you either. That's my point. You accept it's a possibility. And then you do your best not to die. Do you get it now?
(no subject)
But... He nods, staring at the blank TV screen across the room.]
(no subject)
I can't help with the magic. Mine is fire, not light. But I'll teach you some fighting moves. I'll help you figure out what style would suit you. Sound good?
[He tilts his head, bumping it against Yoosung's briefly. Gently.]
(no subject)
[He's not sure about the fighting with physical means. He doesn't feel like he's built for it, as much as he tries to tank for everyone in his video game. But he won't say no to Katsuki trying to teach him anyway. If nothing else, it does mean being closer to him.
That little head nudge makes his heart skip. He hopes Katsuki doesn't pull away soon, he's absolutely basking in this closeness. He could almost cry just from this. He wants to hold Katsuki's hand again but he's worried that would be too much.
An urge to thank him rises up in him, to thank him for even coming here to try to talk him about all of this, for putting time and effort in to change his mind... But then he remembers Katsuki's reaction the last time he tried to thank him, so... He just keeps it to himself, feeling the gratitude fill him up inside, with no outlet. He feels like he could explode with it, and the intensity just brings the tears he was hoping wouldn't show up. His goddamn eyes and their inevitable betrayal!!]
(no subject)
Even if you can do fire magic, I've been reluctant to try mine since the explosion thing cropped up. I think--
[He feels something wet drop on his shoulder and pauses.]
...Are you crying?
(no subject)
Ah, s-sorry, I'm not upset, I'm just... Having a lot of feelings?
[He doesn't know how to explain this well but he also doesn't want Katsuki to pull away.]
I'm actually really grateful!
(no subject)
[He doesn't sound annoyed though. And he doesn't move from where he's sitting, Yoosung's head still dropped against his shoulder.]
You want to table this for now? Give yourself some time to digest everything?
(no subject)
Yup... No shortage of tears from me.
[He feels a small smile pull at his lips as he gives a little sniffle, tears calming down, then a hum of thought at Katsuki's question.]
Yeah...? I guess so. Do you wanna stay here again tonight? We could do breakfast against tomorrow morning if you want...
(no subject)
Posted by:(no subject)
Posted by: